Breaking the Silent Barriers

A few days ago, this picture turned up on my Facebook timeline and got me totally emotional. Such a happy picture, filled with warmth, swelling with motherly pride – a stark contrast to how I managed to get here. Breaking the silent barriers of my struggle with infertility today. When after a couple of years of trying, I couldn’t conceive, I knew there was a problem. In my mid-twenties, with no real hurry on donning the motherhood title, I chose to turn a blind eye until one day a few years later, all alone in the little red dot, I had to rush to emergency. A quick assessment indicated PCOS that had also made me gain 10 kg over a period of 6 months. Here, began my medical journey of struggle towards motherhood. In the 8 plus years of my struggle with bearing a child, the ever-invasive questions became a part of life. People didn’t really think before probing or offering advice. I experienced every bit in those questions that came over a period of 8 years. There was concern and care, c...

Featured in this edition of BSB is Vidya Rajagopal who bares it all in her own account of her silent struggle. A forever young girl who loves dancing, listening to music and cooking new dishes, shares with us her journey to hope, good health and happiness after a few mishaps. My journey to discovering my strength to overcome life’s curves started with a meniscus tear. Being an exercise fanatic, my day always began with workouts. It was during a work-out session at the CC, I heard the “snap” sound when I was performing a kick-boxing routine. I could not stand on my feet. Having experienced an ankle fracture earlier, I was mentally preparing myself for a cast for 4 weeks. Circumstances, at that time, had me head to India for the recovery. I consulted an orthopaedic doctor who suggested an immediate surgery after viewing my X-rays. Apparently, my meniscus tissue had shattered, and a few fragments had lodged themselves in between my knee joints, making it difficult to bend my knee. ...

Parenting is no easy task and when it’s a special child, then the process immeasurably more challenging and life excruciatingly difficult. Opening up her journey to us in this article today is Sapna Dabade. It was back in 2005, we were still finding our way to settle down in a new country when I first conceived. I was 25 and scared about the entire journey. With this being our first child, it was our decision for me to move back to India, in my second trimester, to my native city so I could have the support of my parents. I was consulting a family physician and gynaecologist who had delivered almost all the children in the family. I had just completed my third trimester and visiting my gynaecologist. I was examined and then to my utter shock, I was informed that she had inserted a tablet to kick start the labour induction. I was asked to go home and return only when the contractions set in. Later that evening, I started feeling uneasy and without my husband around, we decided it was s...

Breaking her silence in this article is Barnali Roy, an independent, strong careerist woman and mother who chose to fight against odds right from the word go, refusing to quit under pressure and is a self-made successful professional. Life is always a journey to cherish. Living up to one’s expectations and making one’s self-identity is what I have grown up believing right from my childhood but then never thought of the pain, challenges, sorrows and hardships one must come across in order to sustain and prove oneself. Before I begin to break my silence, I would like to dedicate this piece of article to my family, parents and specially to my father who has been my mentor, role model and inspiration. Today whatever I have achieved in my journey of life is because of him and my family. To start with somewhere I can co-relate myself to this Hindi saying “Beti Padhao aur beti ko saksham banao” – educating daughters and making them independent. A Delhi based girl, belonging from a middl...

My 27-year long story with Painful Bladder Syndrome Aka Interstitial Cystitis (IC) Bharathi Shiva is 44 years old. She is having IC since she was 17. She lives with her two sons and husband in Mumbai. She has a master’s degree in Social Work. She is associated with the Centre for Vocational Training (Special Needs) Adults. Today she shares her arduous 27-year journey with IC. Part 1 Nov 1992. I am up at night doing a college project. I begin to feel a heavy kind of pain. Somewhere inside, below the stomach area. I go to the toilet. The pain goes away. Half an hour or so later the pain returns. Again, I go to the toilet and the pain goes away. Strange I think and go to bed. Am fast asleep. I find myself being woken up by a nagging pain. It’s the same pain. I get up and trudge my way to the toilet. I go to college the next day as usual. In the afternoon I get the pain again. When I get it again on the bus commute back home, I break into a sweat. The travel time is 45 min to an hour....

Breaking her silence in this article is Rithu Patke, an Oxford graduate, a wife, a mother and a grandmother. According to me every human being is struggling to make the best of 5 things in his/her life, namely Family, Friends, Home, Health & Wealth. Out of these, 3 if lost can be regained easily through hard work & enterprise…. Home, Friends, Wealth. But the remaining 2, i.e. Family & Health are impossible to regain once lost!! So, it’s Important to manage them to the best of one’s ability while one can…. Being a Champion for under eighteen, representing Maharashtra in athletics and a trained Bharat Natyam dancer, aches & pains were totally unknown to me!! I was always very fit & always on the go but then I committed the cardinal sin of ignoring my health. I got married early into a traditional Brahmin Pune family, which was totally different from the background I came from, took a while getting used to. EVERYTHING was different & took some adjusting from my...

“Our lives are ours to live. No can live it or write our story better than us” What is BSB? Breaking the Silent Barriers is a segment that is initiated to give a voice to the silent warriors, the quiet survivors, the unsung victims or those silent souls who are in a disabled situation. Most times these are chronic invisible issues, body shaming, child or domestic abuse, broken relationships….. The one thing common with all of them is the feeling of unwantedness, rejection and isolation. By bottling up such emotions, one without realising, isolates oneself, leading to loneliness, depression and becoming a fertile ground to invite diseases. The radio silence further leads to isolating the self as we assume the lack of understanding and empathy and opening up could mean being publicly vulnerable and a ground for all judgements. So, one tends to simply build up walls and remain isolated in their own shell rather than risking and losing so much by way of opening up. On the contrary, t...

Heartache, pent up stress and anger, issues that are beyond comprehension. Shit happens. Life is all about ebb and flow. There are good times and then there are the ugly ones. Moments one wishes had never taken place. Thoughts one might want to bury ASAP. The pain and anguish of being helplessly caught in a situation for no fault of one but bearing it silently. Again, for no reason. One might want to give it the excuse of having no choice but to live with a situation that continuously brings in pain. Not making a choice for oneself to get out of the same takes another level of passionate belief. Belief in an optimistic hope that the situation will not repeat itself. A self-proclaimed idea that it’s all going to be fine here after. Fairy tale endings only happen in the books. Truth is hard hitting. What is it that makes a victim of abuse continue in the relationship? Life in an abusive relationship can be far from normal for anyone living it. One might believe there is enough love to m...

Wounds and hurts of childhood leave behind scars. Scars that begin to scald from time to time, periodically surfacing and bringing back the painful memories even in one’s adult life. Breaking the silent barrier on my journey of a deprived childhood, something that bothers me till date. When you take away from a child, the carefree life, the innocence of an indifferent attitude and burden them with unnecessary issues, you are bound to snatch away from a child, his or her right to living a life as one. What one experiences in childhood makes one what they are as an adult and how one copes with life and all its intricate and complex situations. The all familiar sound of the early morning radio woke me up as usual. Just as I tried to get my groggy eyes to open, I heard the sounds of an escalating argument from my parent’s room. I scurried off to brush my teeth lest I got into the radar. As I ventured back in, I saw my father leaving to work, without his usual breakfast and no lunch. My m...